I just got done watching that movie Zitguys,and I'm here to tell you there are a lot of things it got basackards. It says that Jesus mozzied into Egypt and stole some of them Egyptian gods. That just aint true and even if he did, they didn't belong to em anyway.They stole em from Texas and gave em funny soundin names and made it look like they was born there. That's just all kindsa wrong. Jesus wouldna done nothin no worse. Besides that, I don't think Jesus was ever in Egypt. He lived his whole life in Mexico, except when he came across to work in the mater fields. I know. I met him once in Laredo and he told me bout all the times he was caught and sent back to Mexico. He said he remembered when we had some purdy good gods in Texas fore them Gyptians stole em.They gypt us out of our best gods.Them people what made that movie didn't know too much about Texas gods anyway. They claimed one of the goddesses Archery, wrote a book they used in the movie. Archery never wrote no book. She was one of the goddesses of deer hunters. She was part of the gods and goddesses of the Compound Bow. The lived up in the Bow compound close to the Red River, till they got run out by Tufnut.
The goddess Tufnut was originally born as a squirrel in the area of Tuftun. She was mean and onry, and the other gods and goddesses tried to teach Her good manners, but she wouldn't crack. Finally everyone skeedaddled and Tufnut had the compound all to herself. Even her good friend Bast stopped going around her.Bast was a mixture of the goddesses Bass, the godess of fish, and Tard, the goddess of reclining fishermen.They are sometimes combined as one goddess and still called on by Texas fishermen to fetch the lures they lose in brush. Tufnut was married to Shu and had a daughter named Nut.
Nut was born blue and kinda mindless. She had a thing for the moon god Khonsue and did some wild and crazy things when he came out full. He didn't pay her no mind and she ended marrying her brother Geb.Geb turned out to be crazier than Nut and went around cackling like a goose until he finally laid an egg that turned into the sun god Aten. Nut talked Aten into putting the fear into Khonshue for ignoring Her. Aten ran Him off, but as soon as Aten disappeared Khonshue came back.
The Gyptian Hathor was also a Texas goddess who was common law wife to both Horse and Ed Fu. They usually just called her "At-hor." Ed-Fu was the creator of the Asian speaking people and known in China Grove as Edfuyung. He was killed in a gun battle with Horse.
Horse was the god of cowboys. He was born of a virgin Mare in a stable near where the manager stayed. His was supposed to avenge the death of his father,Ole Cyrus, who got caught in a bob war fence and cut hisself into 12 pieces, but Horse was born with no sense and used to run around with humans on his back chanting giddyup,and he earned the name "Crazy Horse." Them Gyptians changed his name to Horus and made him create other gods. As Harsie-asis, he was heckler and jokster of those who behaved badly. As Hariasses he was a practical joker who implanted the facial hair of men on the wrong end. As Khentekhtay He created the derby. He was honored as Horsieraces in an annual celebration where people dressed up as roses and ran through the streets.
Anubus was a Texas god of school children. He was born when there was a bad famine or something, and all the towns went broke. The kids had to walk ten miles in the snow, and all of the teachers got together and called him into existence by shouting "We need Anubus." He came too, which I guess was one of them there marcles. He married the goddess Nut and had a kid they named Imanut, who was celebrated in a song by Ned Miller.
